‘There are cat toys on the floor’: Mom berates her 28-year-old daughter for cluttering her apartment with cat supplies, the cat-lover responds by denying every nitpicky suggestion

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 5, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

When adopting a kitty for the first time, cat lovers assume the risk of that cat taking over every facet of their lives. Suddenly, plans are canceled to hang out with a feline, space in the fridge gets rearranged for prescription kitty IBS food, and entire rooms become dedicated cat play areas. We know exactly what we're getting into with our cat overlords, and we love every second of it.

However, this 28-year-old cat lover's mother didn't agree. Clearly, she didn't understand the unbreakable bond formed between hoomans and their adoptive fur babies, but after going to her daughter's cat-friendly home, judgment was all that was on the menu for their afternoon visit. Apparently, turning your apartment into a cat sanctuary where their toys are on the ground, their favorite blanket is on the couch, and their litter is accessible makes you a crazy cat lady... At least, according to this cat-hating Karen.

Purrhaps, with the power of feline persuasion, she could be coerced to our side, but not before she gets laughed out of the room by a cat-loving daughter. 

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    AITA for telling my daughter she indulges her cat too much and needs to grow up for her own sake?
    via uncommonrocks
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    My daughter (28F) lives in a very small apartment in town with her boyfriend because she is still a student. So clutter piles up quickly in a small space.
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    I believe that living in a nice and clean environment is crucial for productivity and mental health. Her place isn't dirty, but the way she appeases her cat are chaotic and lead to a messy home.
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  • 06
    Last time I was there I told her she needs to start keeping a grownup home because she isn't a child and she isn't living in a dorm anymore. She needs to be
    via uncommonrocks
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    more careful about tidying because she is aiming for a professional degree and I think that living well now is preparation for that Examples of the clutter are:
    via uncommonrocks
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    She constantly has an old ratty blanket laying unfolded on her couch "because the cat likes to nap there" and another in the corner of her bedroom for the same reason
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    There is a visible cat carrier with pillows and blankets in her main living space "because the cat likes it"
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    She has a little cat bed on her kitchen table and says the sun comes in there and of course "the cat likes it"
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    There is a little "cat nest" in a shelf of every closet of the apartment which limits storage space
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    There are cat toys on the floor. She keeps cat litter in a storage closet and so the door is constantly open and it looks messy and you can see the litter. There are cat
    via uncommonrocks
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    food dishes in multiple rooms and pieces of food are always littered around it and need sweeping. She even nailed up a "cat shelf" on the
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    wall which is just an ugly carpeted piece of wood. Overall it looks like the cat's apartment rather than hers. She leaves water dishes in weird places like on side tables and under desks which looks odd and messy.
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    I know the cat sleeps in her bed with her so leaving all these extra things around "because the cat likes it" looks really messy and is unnecessary. She is the pet
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    owner and she can decide where the cat sleeps. She just refuses to and lives like this all the time. I have also had pets before
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    and understand she loves the cat and wants it to be happy, but I never had an animal take over my home this way. She treats it like a roommate.
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    I wasn't angry when I brought it up, just trying to get her to see how she could live in a nicer environment if she dialed back on cat space. I
    via uncommonrocks
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    more adult home and focus on making it look nice and cozy for herself, not just living around an animal, so she could prepare for professional life.
    via uncommonrocks
  • 23
    She basically laughed and said thanks for the idea but she won't take it, and said I am being a bit of an AH. She wouldn't even consider it for a minute.
    via uncommonrocks
  • 24
    I think she is being immature and while she isn't being mean, I don't think it makes me an AH to try to guide her to a more adult way of living but she sure does. Was I being an a?
    via uncommonrocks
  • 25
    YMMV-But ⚫ YTA. You can believe anything you want, but most people believe if you don't live somewhere, it's not up to you whether it's messy or tidy.
    via uncommonrocks
  • 26
    "She is the pet owner and can decide where the cat sleeps." And she does make that decision, not you.
    via uncommonrocks

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